The Devil beside Me
by Little Falcon
Summary: IchiXKashi... What if his only option is to wait? But for what and for how long?
1. His Slice

**The Devil beside Me**

_**Little Falcon:**__ Despite my grueling obligations, I refuse to be tied down to writing essays alone. So my muse appears to have been entertained by my stubbornness and granted me this two-part story. I sincerely hope you like it. _

_**Standard Disclaimer:**__ I only own the idea that's all. If I did own this series I'll be the happiest person on earth! _

**His Slice**

"I'm not hungry," that was the first time he knew something was wrong. It had only been a few months since they won their first Grand Prix but the Group A decided to take their skills to another level so they used the summer vacation to train in Paris. The main campus was more than willing to cater to their hunger for perfection. At times, the gang used their facilities but more often they found themselves in bizarre pastry shops or stalls, learning things never written in any textbooks.

The "Sweet Princes" watched their only female member quietly climb the stairs. The two exchanged puzzled looks as the other one eyed the untouched chocolate cake, intended for her consumption alone. _She never skips dessert… not ever. _

That night even with his light turned off, his caramel colored eyes stared at the dark ceiling of the small room he stayed in. Ever since her absence at dinner, something in his gut felt wrong, like a built-in radar that detected something ominous ahead. _I knew it… Paris is a mistake. _He roughly pulled the blanket over body and forced his eyes to sleep.

The next day, not one of the guys mentioned anything about last night and just like usual they commenced with their normal routine of trying something unconventional in the main campus.

"Ma-kun, Ichigo seems to be better now," his best friend, Andou, muttered as they shared a workspace for a while.

Before Kashino would've turned away when he was caught staring at her by anyone but this time he held his ground. "She better be, the next Grand Prix is growing close," his tone was strictly professional, not revealing his concern. After all, he was the only one who she failed to convince that she's fine.

"I'm telling you its true! I saw them! Henri-sensei and Mari Tennouji are together!" A group of giggling girls passed by the baking hall, their high-pitched voices almost impossible not to hear.

Time stood still inside; not one dared to even breathe. All eyes were on her. "Ichigo…" her Sweet Spirit, Vanilla, flew to her side in worry. It doesn't take a genius to figure out who Henri Lucas is to her, especially when you see the way she lights up whenever he was around.

"That's just unfounded rumor, Ichigo-chan," their perpetual philanderer, Hanabusa, immediately offer the comforting rose.

Taking the candy confection, she made a weak smile. "Iie (No), I saw them yesterday… but don't worry I'm completely okay with it. It's not like I'm in love with Henri-sensei," she pulled her hands up in front of her in defense, trying to reassure everyone with her forced laugh.

Unconsciously, he clenched his fists and gritted his teeth as he heard her endless babbling, a thing she does when she's in a pinch. Without hesitation, Kashino made several long strides to close the distance in between them. Ichigo stopped talking almost instantly and averted meeting his gaze. "You idiot! You don't have to smile… don't force it," he gently knocked his knuckles on her forehead.

Everyone else let out a sigh of relief as Ichigo raised her head and nodded silently.

Needless to say, with everyone's agreement, practice was cancelled that day.

"Kashino, why are we here?" His Sweet Spirit rubbed her sleepy eyes as they neared the double doors of the baking hall.

"This is nothing Chocolat. Go back to sleep," after watching the groggy fairy fly away, he set his eyes on the twin doors. When was it? When his instincts began dictating where to find her precisely. This time it led him here.

Without a sound, Kashino approached the doors. The hand that was supposed to push it open fell short upon hearing a muffled sob from the other side. Something in his chest felt painfully tight because he knew that voice all too well.

His hand landed on his side then bulked into a fist together with the other one. Several overwhelming emotions fought inside him.

Rage. Immense anger. The need to hurt Henri Lucas was very tempting even if he wasn't a man of violence. The need to return even a fraction of pain she feels would be more than enough. However, Kashino knew who he was up against. Despite the height he had astonishingly acquired over the years or even the built he was proud of, physical blows on the older man's face would never satisfy him. it wouldn't be enough… not by a long shot. Henri Lucas' skills are legendary so to an apprentice like Kashino even matching-up to his skills was impossible. Besides Ichigo worships the very ground the guy walks on. To her, he was the physical manifestation of perfection… a god. And right now, he was committing blasphemy by wishing this "god" didn't exist.

Frustration. Paralyzing disappointment. He knew this a long time ago… that no matter how hard he tries… it had always been about _him_. Her sobs became more audible as if she had lost her will to hold it back. He directed his lethal glare at the unmoving doors. _Ichigo… can't you look at me instead?_

Pity. Indescribable wretchedness. She was clearly in pain by the way he heard her unrestricted cries and yet he can do nothing, not even be in the same room as her. For the two years they spent together, he can predict that when he enters the room and offers his shoulder, Ichigo will just force a smile that would hurt her more. Deep inside, he knew that the only person who can stop her from crying was the one who made her cry to begin with. Obviously, that person isn't him.

Something else he fails to acknowledge. To him it was still uncertain, but it was enough to overpower everything else. It was the one that made him stay by those doors and listen to her pain all night long.

That was the time; she lost a part of her smile.

"We're in our last year in the academy. Don't you think you've given her enough time to heal?" Andou said out of the blue as he sat beside his childhood friend on the bench by the pond.

By now, Kashino Makoto finally accepted what it is he feels for Ichigo. Everyone, including Hanabusa, was aware of it even before he admitted it. _How can I even begin to tell her when I know real well that she's still not fine? _With a casual sigh, he looked at him and to the packages he was holding. "That's a lot even if it's supposed to be Valentine's day today," he pointed out.

"You know how they (girls) like to give tokens at every occasion on the calendar," Andou chuckled. He was always the big brother figure- all patience, no room for selfishness. "You'd get a lot too if you stop hiding here. Anyway, have you given her _your_ chocolate?"

"I didn't make any," his chest felt heavy as he recited the things that came next. "I just… want to see her smile again," he said something utterly irrelevant. _Forget being with her… seeing her ditzy smile is more than enough. _

"Ma-kun, are you… giving up?" His reply was a loud silence.

As expected his shoe locker was literally overflowing with tokens and love letters, Kashino didn't even bother picking up even one. Every girl he passed was earnestly looking at him, dreaming that he'll bestow her with his renowned creation but a lot of hearts were broken when he didn't even spare them a glance.

Entering the classroom, his caramel liquid eyes saw only one person despite the others present. "Oi Amano," he called as he walked over to her desk.

"Hai!" She automatically replied.

"Come to the baking hall tonight," he said under his breath, making sure it's just between them.

"O…kay?" Tilting her head in bewilderment, she watched him resume his intended seat.

Ichigo being herself was late as usual. However, on contrary to the usual, Kashino didn't mind. "Come here, I'll teach you how to make something," he didn't even look up upon her noisy arrival.

"Eh?" Reluctantly, she began to step forward.

"Don't tell me you were expecting something else?" He flashed his arrogant smirk and that act alone melted the ice.

After yelling at his ear for a long time, she finally calmed down. "What are you going to teach me anyway?" Her chestnut brown eyes wandered to the open recipe book. Her pupils dilated upon seeing the illustration of the exquisite pastry. "But this is…"

"_Hatsukoi… _First Love," he muttered as he made a distance in between them.

"Why are you…?" Ichigo can no longer afford to finish her sentence as tears began to hinder her vision.

"Making it contains basic skills that you have yet mastered. I think it's only logical to use that recipe," his tone was indifferent as he began to gather the ingredients.

For a long while, she followed her with her eyes… unable to even utter a syllable. "I… I don't want to…" _because I won't be making it for anyone else but him. _

"Oh grow-up, you think you can be a patissiere if you selfishly choose what you make?" Each word was like a physical blow… to both of them

Rubbing the unshed tears from her eyes, Ichigo burned with determination as she began to take lessons from the sadistic prince. By the time the sun was peeking from the horizon, she had perfected it.

It was like poking a fresh wound over and over again. From his stolen glances, he saw her smile growing wider with each step done. However, Kashino could tell that she wasn't smiling because she perfected a skill… she was smiling because she remember _him_. He felt betrayed… and found it pathetic.

"Kashino… thank you," her gratitude made a vice-like grip on his heart. This was the closest thing he'll ever hear from what he wanted her to say.

Propping his elbow on his desk, he leaned his head on his hand as he stared at her snoring blatantly in the middle of a lengthy lecture.

"Hey, I heard you taught how to make _that. _What are you thinking? You know how sensitive she is to things related to that guy," they didn't really hate Henri Lucas however, they made it a point to speak of him vaguely just in case.

"Nothing." Kashino let out an amused chortle as the teacher threw a piece of chalk at the sleeping student, only to have it evaded nonchalantly by the _still _snoring Ichigo.

When the bell resounded throughout the halls, everyone piled out the door gradually. "Is that… HENRI-SENSEI?" One of the girls squealed as she pointed at the window on the third floor.

"Don't tell me…" Andou didn't have time to finish due to the human stampede dividing them.

Makoto's gaze landed on a certain person who was looking up at the window as if praying. Unable to tolerate another second of the scene, he tore his gaze away and sauntered off.

_I've made my decision… I've made my decision. _He recited mentally like a mantra as he made his way back o the dorms. As if on cue, his phone rang upon his arrival. Without checking the number, he answered the call. This was something he didn't predict… but it was certainly on time.

At the wee hours of the night, something impelled him to wake up. Not having enough will to silence his subconscious, here he was making his way towards the school garden. Sleep instantly left his eyes as he caught sight of a familiar silhouette under the full moon.

Her long wavy locks glimmering like threads of silver, her skin glowing like expensive porcelain, her dark chocolate eyes shining like gold. Her tears were like liquid mercury as they trickled down her cheeks but what made her beauty breathtaking was the genuine smile on her face.

There it is… the smile that he never forgot; the one he taught he'll never see again; the one that made his knees weak and his heart race; the one that makes him feel warm and shiver at the same time… the one she lost years back.

Just like that… he fell in love with her all over again.

"Henri-sensei… dumped me…" her voice was broken but it was still melodic. "He said that what I feel for him is a kind of affection a daughter has to a father… and that he the one he loves is Tennouji Mari," her tears fell one after another but she made no move to wipe them away.

Standing by her side, Kashino too, looked at the brilliant moon. "Then why are you smiling?"

"I don't know,"

"Why are you crying?"

"I don't know," she shook her head roughly.

"Are you mad at them?" His questions sounded way too casual.

Ichigo's gaze traveled to the pond's glassy surface, reflecting the silver moon. "Iie… not at all," she honestly replied.

As if sharing the same thought, Makoto nodded his head. "Souka (Is that so)… then you really love him," he felt her eyes on him. Quietly, he turned to face her fully. "You definitely love someone… if you don't hate them for not loving you," he flinched inwardly as he stated his very predicament.

"Did you… plan all this?" Just with her jubilant tone, he knew that the old Ichigo was back.

"No, everything was purely… coincidental," _Can you love me now? I don't think I can wait any longer._ Without hesitation, he tenderly wiped her tears away before he left.

Upon arriving in his room, the first thing he did was dial his phone. "_Madam, I'll be honored to represent St. Marie," _he spoke in a different tongue.

"ICHIGO!" Her roommate, Ruri, was the one who peeled the blanket off her then shook her violently. "KASHINO LEFT FOR THE AIRPORT!"

Her eyes flew open upon hearing the news. "W…what? WHY?" She swam out of bed and into her change of clothes.

"He accepted a long-term exchange student program from a famous academy in Germany," Ruri answered as she assisted her friend search for her other sock.

_Even if I told myself that I'll wait, I can't deny the fact that I also want to be happy._

An announcement about his flight made him look back before finally walking away. 

_I'm the one who doesn't stop when I know I'm tired… but I'm the one who gives up when I know I did my part._

_**Little Falcon:**__ I know still hazy, right? All will be clear once her slice is up. Don't forget to read and review. _


	2. Her Slice

**The Devil beside Me**

_**Little Falcon:**__ I haven't written a single essay since I started this story (Is that a good thing or a bad thing?)_. Needless to say, I am entitled to close this book before starting another one so here's the second half.

_**Standard Disclaimer:**__ I only own the idea that's all. If I did own this series I'll be the happiest person on earth! _

**Her Slice**

_He can't leave! Why would he leave? Isn't he supposed to…? _Her train of thoughts suddenly stopped as she felt immense guilt immerge from her chest. _…be always there for me. _When was it that she became so dependent on him? His unfaltering presence made her think that it was permanent and now that she realized that its not, she felt so unstable.

Her usual tumble down the dormitory steps felt more painful than usual. Somehow, she found it harder to stand back up. _Why can't he leave? _That question echoed in her head several times as her feet tried to remember how to walk.

"Ichigo-chan," her two other teammates were waiting for her outside as she finally made it out.

Pushing all her reflections aside, she ran up to them. "Kashino… he… he…" her voice was uncontrollably shaking.

After exchanging worried looks, Hanabusa and Andou looked at her awkwardly. "We know. It was his request not to tell you anything," the playboy's tone was monotonous and lucid this time.

"Why would he…" Again, it was as if she ran out of words to complete her question. With a hard swallow, she tried asking at a different approach. "Graduation's only a few days away… why would he…"

"He doesn't want you to send him off," Was it her imagination or was Andou's tone a bit coarse?

"Why wouldn't he…" Looking around, the others together with their Sweet Spirits stared at her as if she's the only one who hasn't figured out the answer.

"Ichigo…" Her Sweet Spirit hovered right in front of her face. "Sometimes… you have to figure things out yourself," a meek smile formed on Vanilla's lips as with the others.

Knowing that time is running out, Amano Ichigo ran out of the academy and to the nearest bus stop, just in time to get on the transport. Drumming her fingertips on the bus' window frame, hundreds of questions flood her mind enough to make her wince. _Why are you smiling…? _His deep, rich tone drowned everything else in the background. _Why are you crying? _These were the things he asked… the last things he asked that night. _You definitely love someone… if you don't hate them for not loving you. _

A rough bump on the road woke her up. It had always been a bad habit of hers: sleeping through bus rides carelessly because she knew that _he _would definitely wake her up. A few minutes passed and finally the airport was in view.

Her sudden relief was immediately overtaken by her confusion. _What will I tell him? If I told him not to leave… will he stay? _Ichigo sank back to her seat as the planes' deafening noises grew louder at every second.

Surrounded by thousands of people, departing and arriving, all shapes and sizes, she incredibly saw his silhouette effortlessly. It was like everything was black and white and he was the only one with that perfectly combed blond hair. He was only a few feet away yet somehow she felt they were miles apart. Her voice got caught in her throat as she watched him pick-up his suitcase and head towards the departure zone.

_Kashino… Kashino… _Her mouth formed the words but no sound to support it. _Kashino…_ "Makoto…" it was only a faint whimper… barely audible even for her but it made him stop and look back… as if he heard her calling him clearly.

His caramel colored eyes widened in shock to find her here. Without letting go of his baggage, Kashino raised his eyebrow in question as another flight announcement resounded through the place.

_Why are you leaving? Can't you wait until graduation? Why don't you want me to know you're leaving? Was it something I did? What…why… _Through all the questions plaguing her head, she shut her eyes for a moment to block it all out before… "Don't leave," Clutching her chest, she tried to control the numbing pain inside. "Stay… stay with me," her chestnut brown eyes begged.

"Why?" He asked automatically as if unaffected by her statement. "Why would I?" Breaking their eye contact, he looked at the passengers boarding his intended flight.

Her heart stopped beating for a few seconds. _Why? Why would I want him to stay with me? _"Be…because… I… love…you-" she said stiffly as she avoided his penetrating gaze. _So, please don't leave me alone. _

There was a pregnant pause before she heard him shift. "No, you don't… but thanks for saying it," his remark was gentle… and casual.

But when she met his eyes, she wished that somehow she can take back what she said. The pain in his eyes was so great that it was almost tangible. Kashino Makoto who has been known for his stone heart and stoic face was now evidently hurt by her words.

Was it so obvious that she was lying just to keep him by her side? _I'm not lying… am I? _Right then and there, she felt obligated to apologize. She had hurt the only person who had supported her every step of the way for the sake of not being left alone. Intolerable self disgust made her insides churn horribly.

Closing the distance between them, Kashino stood a few inches from her. "I love you… for so long. I wanted you to tell you that ever since," he smiled and reached out his hand in the intention to touch her face but he stopped midway. It fell to his side then he turned away. "Take care of yourself, Ichigo," that was the first time, she ever heard him call her name. _The first time…_

"Kashino, are you sure?" His Sweet Spirit rested on his shoulder as he sat on the seat assigned to him.

Propping his elbow on the arm rest, he leaned his head on his hand heavily. "I've been looking at her eyes for the longest time, enough to know that even though she's looking at me, she's not really seeing me," with a long sigh, he looked out the small window as the plane became airborne. "How can she afford to look at me? When her eyes are still fixated only on one person?"

Chocolat sat quietly as a distance as her partner's tears remained unshed but shaking in his eyes. In the end, it was her who cried for him. Having your most awaited words said forcefully by the person you value the most… shattered would be an utter understatement.

Amano Ichigo stood frozen on her spot as she watched his familiar form grew distant and then finally, out of sight. It was in the moment when she knew that no matter how hard she calls or no matter how fast she runs, he was already gone. It was in that moment, when she was certain of his absence…. that tears welled-up in her eyes and trickled freely down her chin.

"Why… why didn't he stay? I told him I…" having no concern as to whoever hears her cry, she let out her sobs openly in the middle of the airport. _I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… Kashino. _

"Did you see him off?" To her surprise, Henri Lucas was the one waiting by the academy's gates when she arrived. With a great effort, Ichigo managed to nod her head.

How strange, before her heart beats like crazy at the mere presence of this person… now… her heart was barely making a sound even if she was sitting so close beside him. The moon felt so radiantly beautiful that night but she can't even lift her head.

"Your _first love _was well made," the professor commented on the pastry she gave him yesterday. "Did you learn it yourself?"

"_He _taught me," she said under her breath. Saying his name now felt painful.

"Really? When?"

"A few days before you arrived… it's a funny coincidence," even if Ichigo wanted to sound fine, she felt pathetic.

"Hmmm, I wonder about that… there were a few people who knew about my sudden visit here. I think one of them was him,"

Her pupils dilated in reaction. _Then that means… he taught me that to… but why? _

_** I love you… for so long. I wanted you to tell you that ever since **_

__When she thought her tears already dried up, here they came blinding her vision at the mere recall of his voice. "Why…"

"Ichigo… I think he's trying to teach you something different altogether," Henri Lucas rose from his seat and began to walk away. "When you're trying to bake a cake… you start with step 1…."

Upon hearing his statement, her tears stopped forming. _Step 1… _

Everyone looked so formal wearing their black toga inside the covered courts. Today was their last day in the Academy… tomorrow would be their first step in reaching a higher goal. Energy filled the atmosphere as the principal began the ceremony.

In the few days that passed, Amano Ichigo's old self returned much to everyone's surprise. The reason, however, was still a mystery.

Her chocolate brown eyes looked forward but her mind was miles away. _The first step… was moving on. _It took her countless hours and several sleepless nights to figure it out. _He wanted me to confess to Henri-sensei… for my first love to end… so I can proceed to the next step. _Miraculously, Ichigo went up the stage, received her diploma and went down without a single mishap.

_I know what to do now… _her toga wrinkled as her fist clenched in sheer determination.

"Finally for our batch's top student…" The principal's proclamation somehow made her flinch. Their batch's top one is now in Germany… she was probably pertaining to the batch's top two. "Kashino Makoto,"

Her neck almost snapped as she sharply turned her head around to look at the person marching from the back and up the stage. Perfectly combed hair, strong cheekbones, confident eyes and an aura that commands the attention of every person in the room. It was as if he never left at all… he is as she remembers him to be.

After receiving his diploma, Kashino swept the batch with a glance before resting his caramel eyes on her then he began his speech.

Her legs weighed like lead as she approached them. The two other Sweet Princes took a hint and became scarce. The cherry blossoms scattered in the air like confetti as their eyes met again.

"I thought you went to Germany," she slowed her steps.

"I did… but I came back," he shoved his hand inside his pocket.

"Why?"

Kashino titled his head before letting out a sigh. He turned sideways and faced the shimmering pond. "I should've left you when I still know how… apparently, I was too late," he sighed.

A slight blush crept on her cheeks as Ichigo too faced the still waters. "I can answer your questions now…" she said enthusiastically. Honestly, it took her a lot of reverie to be able to pull out these things from her subconscious.

The Sweet Prince arched an eyebrow in bewilderment.

"That night… I was crying…" Kashino immediately understood that she was pertaining to the night before he left. "Not because I got dumped, or even because I'll miss him… but because I realized that its going to be alright without him,"

"That night… I was smiling because… I was thinking of someone who'll get mad if he saw me crying like that,"

There it is, that arrogant smirk that made him Kashino Makoto entirely. The one that made her temper snap, the one that made her feel she challenged and mocked at the same time, the one that made countless girls fawn over him, the one he made when he first saw her… the one that only he can make.

"Can you answer another question?" This time, it was his turn to approach.

"Only if you call me by my name again, Makoto,"

He felt ten feet tall with the way she is looking at her now. "Why are you smiling now, Ichigo?" Just like that event in the airport: he reached out his hand to touch her face, only this time he really did. Tenderly, his fingertips grazed her smooth skin. It was like the last few days never happened… like all the hurt never really felt and all the damages never really inflicted. Everything forgotten by just having him call her name.

"Because I was asking myself if you're position in my heart have indeed changed," she placed her hand on top of his. Their eyes never letting go of each other's.

"And? Has it?"

"Even before I knew it…" their fingers interlocked as they grew closer. This time… he knew… from her voice and her eyes… and with his heart… she was telling the truth. The truth he never imagined to be possible.

"Higher than Hanabusa's?" His arm wound around her waist.

"Obviously," she brushed away a strand of stray hair from his eyes.

"Andou's?"

"Definitely,"

"Henri-sensei's?"

"Apparently,"

His lips hovered above hers as he placed his forehead on hers. "Pastries'?"

"Do I really need to answer that?" Ichigo hooked her arms around his neck and chuckled.

"No… not really," they sealed their lips finalizing the romance that took several years in the making.

_**Little Falcon:**__ There! Hopefully, with this I'll be able to bring myself to write another essay (much to my teachers' delight). Read and review, okay? _


End file.
